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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Why Men are Never Depressed

(Thanks to Hugh Mellor for sending this)

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You don't have to stop and think which way to 
turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress £5000; DJ rental £200.
People never stare at your chest when you're 
talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is cheap.

You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes in one colour for all seasons.
You can trim your nails with a pocket knife.

You can choose whether to grow a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 people in 25 minutes on 24 December.

5 comments:

Evelyn Brister said...

And--how do I read this?
The thing is, it's like the duck/rabbit illusion. You can see what you want to see.
From *my* feminist perspective, what I read is a confirmation of the misogynistic attitudes which support patronizing behaviors and which affect women negatively.
From a different perspective, still a woman's and perhaps feminist, I see a list of the unfair ways that nature ("mood") and culture make women's lives difficult.
Ah, but from the flipside of the first, this is a hilarious list confirming why "women" (as a group) are the way they are. And I think that it's from that perspective that it packs the most humor.

Brit Brogaard said...

Hi Evelyn,
I think you are right about this. The sad (and perhaps slightly exaggerated) truth is often funny. I don't study humor, so I am not sure what the reason is. I too read this as a confirmation of the misogynistic attitudes of *some* males in our society. Maybe part of what makes it funny is that these attitudes are so ridiculous.

DEM said...

Oh, come on, I think this list is just hilarious. And it doesn't seem to me that everything it says about us is positive, on the contrary.

It's just humor and I don't think that a feminist reading makes any sense.

Cheers,

Diego

Brit Brogaard said...

Well, nothing is "just" humor. If I told you a funny racist joke, it would still be racist. But the list is very funny. That's why I posted it. Part of what makes it funny, though, is the grain of truth in there.

Diego Machuca said...

Thanks for your reply. I think you're "mixing" things here. I didn't say that "everything" is just humor, but only that this list is just humor. And, again, I don't think that everything it says about guys is positive. There's some truth, of course, but I think that the intention is humoristic, as it were. So I'm not ofended by it, nor "should" women feel ofended. Perhaps my comment was in part due to the fact that I find feminism absurd and ridiculous, just as I find the "macho" attitude stupid.

Cheers,

Diego